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Freya Hahn
Crowdfunding initiative to help pay for noise violation fines
April 7, 2014
A popular off campus house and its residents are being persecuted by discontented neighbors and Northfield police. Last weekend, neighbors called the police complaining about the noise levels and the residents of this off campus party locale were slapped with heavy fines. Concerned St. Olaf students and party goers Beret Buntstein '15 and Anders Anderson '17 have started a kickstarter to raise funds to lessen the financial burden of the victims at the off campus home.They will be tabling outside of Stav Hall this week selling t-shirts and collecting donations so that this house can "throw down" once again.
April 8, 2014
During brunch last Sunday junior Carly Anderson '15 asked junior Nora Newland '15 how things are going with that guy from their political science class. Newland stated that he "totally liked my profile picture from last June which means he definitely probably likes me".
Anderson agreed that the two would make a good pair but the fact that he is graduating in the spring means that he most likely isn't looking for anything serious. The two juniors concluded with the statement that Newland is hot and pretty and definitely deserves better even if that guy is "a total babe".
April 9, 2014
Stressing that this is the first good thing to happen to him in a long time, freshman Greg Wexler told reporters this afternoon that he's planning to use his good room draw number as a means of "momentarily forgetting" his crippling depression. "I mean, I've had a really rough semester. Friendships have changed, and I kind of got left in the dust," said Greg, a resident of Hoyme Hall. "I just can't really believe it, a totally random system, and I got number 16? I really think things may start to
look up after this!" Reporters on the scene selected Greg for an interview both because he was visibly very excited, and painfully alone. When asked what his next course of action would be, Greg excitedly told The Manitou Mess that he plans to let his current roommate know as soon as possible. "Maybe now he'll let me into his Quad for next year!"Greg's roommate, who asked not to be named in this article, told The Mess that he is "happy for Greg" though in all honesty he won't be making any rooming changes for next year.
April 20, 2014
The St. Olaf football team and the St Olaf choir often compete for the attention of their peers and over funds from the college but this week members from both organizations came together after a Taiko drumming concert in Stav Hall. The football players and singers filed into the cafeteria after hours of rehearsal and practice to hear the sounds of the drumming. Linebacker John Lambert '15 stated "The server in the Pasta line couldn't even hear that I only wanted a little bit of Alfredo sauce because of that drumming and my entire meal was ruined." A frustrated singer at a round table vented to reporters shouting "I can't even hear myself think over all this noise.
We have to do something to end this." This mutual hatred of the Taiko drumming has created a sense of solidarity among St. Olaf diners: athletes and artists alike. Members of the choir and the football team combined forces to create a petition to keep Taiko drumming concerts outdoors. They will be tabling in Buntrock Commons this week to garner support for their cause and get signatures for the petition. Soprano Stacy Peters '15 stated "It's not that we hate Taiko drumming, it's that we hate listening to it. I'm sure it might be pleasant outdoors where the acoustics aren't as...good."
April 20, 2014
Last night’s party-celeb, junior Annika Bjorklund, commented “I think five texts counts the same as a phone call so I’m still ok, right?” when asked about her refusal to put away her iPhone 5 at the environmental house Saturday, April 19th.
After an extended period of time in the basement, four rounds around the house, and a really good conversation about the content of a yellow lab’s blog the party was a success for this celeb. “I didn’t know everyone, but I sort of knew a lot of people and I really knew some people, which I think is a really good dynamic for me”, said an invigorated Bjorklund. With her recent social success Bjorklund plans to finally talk to that girl whose comments she thinks are actually really smart on the way to their theology class.
Bjorklund's dead-on amount of enthusiasm during the concert, and witty comments about shared
vocabulary between marijuana culture and Easter allowed her to blend in and amuse her peers. While fleeing into the woods at 11:48 p.m. Bjorklund’s mockery of a Pub Safe officer exemplified her reckless spirit.
Her where-abouts were uncertain until a 1:30 a.m. sighting in the Pause where she planned to take a large pepperoni and green pepper pizza back to her dorm room.
When asked about her choice she responded, “Wait, so I had my phone on the porch, right? I thought it wasn’t going to leave my hand all night but I remember setting it on a table? I was texting so many people. I should never carry my phone. It’s in my bra! I’m so responsible!”. Bjorklund reported waking up pretty ok on Sunday and was seen at a two hour long brunch the next day.
“After taking Race and Class in American Culture it makes me extra sad when I hear people joke about race. I’ve really become a humanitarian since coming to St. Olaf and I just don’t find it funny anymore to mention immigrants. In a racist way I mean, saying that as a non-racist. Like, I don’t think I’m even going to have a maid when I have my own household. Not that maids are always immigrants. Basically I’ve just been enlightened and am extra not racist anymore.”
Eileen McNulty
Eileen McNulty
CHAPEL SCHEDULE: WEEKEND OF APRIL 18-20
All students, faculty, and staff occasionally host or are invited to parties. We are pleased to offer an updated list- of the weekendly festivities and Sunday morning brunch services. If you are unable to join us in person, but would like to experience the joys of inbibing alcohol and drugs with loud music and other people around please visit our off campus events page.
Acceptable party times are: Thursday at the Cow around 11:30 p.m., Friday after 11:00 p.m., Saturday at 11:00 p.m. and occasionally vary with exception
Friday, 18 – A progressive is heading down to the Barber Shop if you want to try and snatch some of that limestone love; Purim boasts some decent fun for all the Jewish students of St. Olaf but other cultures are sure to force their way in and get offended for anyone else, good times are still expected; the Catholics women’s house is also throwing down with meat off the menu and Jesus in a cave they are expected to throw a dusk ‘til dawn rager to celebrate Jesus’ sacrifice.
Saturday, 19 – Holland House is opening its doors to one and all for an opening “Ballin’ House” first event; another themed party is claiming a big crowd at Environmental where they will try and reclaim the title of Green with a “Holiday” celebration
Sunday, 20 – #420BLZitChildrenofGod
Weekends are a time of inspiration for body, mind, and spirit; a raucous harbor in a busy day; party. Students, faculty, and staff witness to their faith and invite the community to join them. All are welcome!
CHAPEL SCHEDULE
April 21, 2014
Sophomore Jake Hamilton told reporters today that he doesn’t understand why everyone is so excited about this change in weather. Hamilton stated “68 isn’t that nice and even if it is kind of pleasant in the sun, it’s just too windy to be outside.” Hamilton scowled at a group of students playing frisbee on the quad on his way to class. “It will probably snow again next week anyway and this morning was really cloudy,” Hamilton concluded before cutting through Tomson Hall to get out of the sun.
April 22, 2014
With no tray Tuesday sparking conversation over Stav Hall’s dishware, student’s discontent with the plastic plates came to its zenith. “I struggle every day to fit my meals on the salad and dessert plates, but what’s the other option, fiestaware?” said Senior Soren Andersen. The topic was too sore for some, when asked how she felt about the plates in Stav Hall sophomore Anna Ostberg broke into tears: “It makes me
feel like a monster” she said between sobs, “even the cups are plastic, with ridges! Sometimes I almost feel used to it; I don’t even know myself anymore.” This hardship is without a solution for St. Olaf students. When asked how to fix the problem Andersen shrugged and admitted it was hopeless, “We didn’t even get pot stickers on Sundays for a while there. We’ve gotten them two days in a row now, but that doesn’t mean we can get too comfortable.”
April 22, 2014
In a shocking and distressing turn of events, The Manitou Mess has just learned of the passing of Erik Hanson, local freshman at St. Olaf. Confirmed this morning by the college, the Administration office released all know details concerning Erik's death. Under cause of death, the account simply stated 'Marijuana'.
Erik's passing occurred on April 20th, a well known holiday for "Ganja" addicts.
4/20, as they are prone to call it, is commonly associated with pagan ritual and small animal sacrifice.
News of Erik's passing has sent the campus into an uproar, with many students speaking out against this wretched "Reefer". "It's just so sad," remarked Emily Olson, a junior. "It seems like every day I hear about another young life, snuffed out by this marijuana pandemic."
Senior frisbee player, John Larson,
had this to say, "Grass is whack." In recent years, marijuana, or "lambs beard" (as most kids here call it), has been an ever growing problem for the St. Olaf community.
Professors and administrators have increasingly reported apathy, unusual smells, and a general "good times" attitude amongst their students. President of the college, PDA, has not yet made an official statement regarding the problem.
While the issue is still a fresh problem for college administrators, students have been cautioned to be on "extra-high alert" for potentially life threatening behavior. Avoid dark forests, unattended pathways, and Hilleboe Hall. These locations are known stomping grounds for dangerous "Mary Jane Junkies". Should a junkie present itself in daylight, run to the nearest Junior Counselor and phone Public Safety. The officer will provide comfort and a safe ride back to your residence hall.
Christopher Hager
CHAPEL SCHEDULE: WEEKEND OF APRIL 25-27
All students, faculty, and staff occasionally host or are invited to parties. We are pleased to offer an updated list- of the weekendly festivities and Sunday morning brunch services. If you are unable to join us in person, but would like to experience the joys of inbibing alcohol and drugs with loud music and other people around please visit our off campus events page.
Acceptable party times are: Thursday at the Cow around 11:30 p.m., Friday after 11:00 p.m., Saturday at 11:00 p.m. and occasionally vary with exception
Friday, 25 – The German House will be hosting a party at French House this Friday, which will begin at 9:00. By 10, revelers from the German House will march over to French House, and take possession of all French House property. Guests of the German House will be treated to free alcohol and any available snacks. French House guests may stay for the party, but only after aligning themselves with a member of the visiting German party. All French house guests who do not welcome these students will be delegated to an unlit room in the basement.
Saturday, 26 – The Creativity for Community House will open their doors around 11pm for a night of drunk craft making. Student EMTs will be on the scene for any hot glue related accidents. Quadplex will also be hosting a social for any students feeling particularly sporty.
Sunday, 27 – Monthly bloody mary bar hosted by Bon App. Students are encouraged to come to Stav Hall at 11 sharp. The event is BYO pickles and olives
Weekends are a time of inspiration for body, mind, and spirit; a raucous harbor in a busy day; party. Students, faculty, and staff witness to their faith and invite the community to join them. All are welcome!
CHAPEL SCHEDULE
